Wake me up when September ends

I am remembering my brother today as seven years have gone by since he passed away.  I still remember that day, that phone call and then the days that followed.  To lose my brother was beyond words, it was life changing and so unbelievably sad.  It left me an only child and I miss him terribly.  For my parents to lose their child was unimaginable, catastrophic, earth shattering, debilitating.  It left them perpetually sad and nearly unable to be happy ever again.  Over the years they have tried hard to be strong fighting tooth and nail to start each and every day.  They smiled if you met them in the store, they went to church, they tried hard to cope with this horrible loss.  But their hearts were shattered.  Some of you out there know that pain, that loss, the struggle of getting out of bed everyday...and some of you don't.  I encourage you to not be afraid to talk about loved ones lost.  Don't be afraid to tell someone you are thinking of them and that you are sorry.  Sometimes it's nice to remember and to have that person acknowledged.  These things happen to us all eventually and a kind word or smile can make someones day.  Let them know they aren't alone.  You won't say the wrong thing, just start by saying "hi, you've been on my mind" and the rest will just follow.

"here comes the rain again

 falling from the stars

drenched in my pain again

becoming who we are

as my memory rests

but never forgets what I lost

wake me up when September ends"

~Green Day

My Brother Chad

As many of you get ready to celebrate Father's day this weekend so do I.  It's a special day for both my husband and my dad. But June 20th is also a special day because it is my brother Chad's birthday.  Chad was diagnosed with epilepsy when he was about 3 years old.  He was a beautiful, busy and sweet little boy and grew to be a handsome, caring and wonderful young man.  He struggled at times with epilepsy through those years.  However, Chad's journey was not a long one.  Six and 1/2 years ago after 23 years of dealing with epilepsy, his journey ended. He passed away from complications due to a seizure on December 20th, 2003.  He was 26 years old. Chad would be 33 on Sunday and each year I wonder where his life would have taken him.  Would he have had children of his own, would he live close by, would he be coming over for Sunday dinner, where would he be working?  All these things I wonder about.  All these things many people take for granted.  Sometimes I just talk out loud to him and sometimes I see some young man walking down the road and for some reason he reminds me of Chad. He was my only sibling.  Losing a loved one is nearly unbearable but we go on and learn to cope as best we can without them.  So, I am missing and remembering my handsome bro on his birthday and I wanted to share a lovely photo taken by my cousin Renee about 7 or so years ago.  Miss you Chad xoxo.